Week 39: World Class

Man, it's been 12 weeks since the last time I blogged.  I can say I'm a little bit wiser, and a little more traveled.  Gotten into the groove of my work, and been able to learn new roles, and responsibilities.  Not a bad way to spend 3 months.  Well, depends on who you talk to I suppose.  I met up with a vendor, and he said it was like visiting Guantanamo.  Hmm, that might be a bit much, concrete barriers, sure.  Armed guards at approximately 20% of the people that work there.  Yeah.  AK-47's, and 50 cal machine gun turrets?  Sure.  Highly trained and skilled elite interrogators that can do and will do anything to get information?  Take out the highly, put an asterisk on skilled, change elite to elitist, interrogators to prepubescents, and information with cigarettes and blonde women.  That was a lot.  I'll just change it.
Trained, skilled*, elitist prepubescents that will do anything for cigarettes and blonde women.

Sometime like that I think

Enough with the sarcasm  you can see that on comedy central.  I'm here to talk about what FUN things I did in the last 3 months.  And well, there were at least 2 good weeks in there, that I'll talk about.

THAILAND

Man, what can you say about a place like this.  I can see why people LOVE Thailand.  I've never been welcomed anywhere as much as I have here.  Right off of the plan, people are friendly, go out of their way to help you, and overall smile, laugh, and party all day and all night.  What's more to a vacation than that?

The trip itself was short, a brief 3 day bender, with some very blurry spots in the middle.  What I do remember is:  Pretty women everywhere, i actually don't remember seeing too many men.  Smell of the food is almost debilitating.  I couldn't go more than 5-10 minutes without having to drop 30 baht ($1) for some fresh squid charcoal grilled, with a super spicy sweet sauce, followed by a Singha Beer, some grasshoppers in teriyaki sauce, and some grubs, well just to tell your friends that you ain't scared!  They're really bitter, and the ones I had were cold and mushy.  Like eating mashed potatoes with a chewy skin on the outside, only to get a little bit of that bic-pen ink taste (maybe you don't know what that tastes like).  Not good.  Grasshoppers, nothing new, just a little bigger.  Make sure to floss.  No one likes a leg in the mouth.  

Well, maybe I do.  

Flight was a bit long, came in from Dammam to Doha, had an hour so we had a good night cap, thanks to my friend who has I think a million points from Qatar Airlines now.  He got upgrades multiple times, the lucky jerk.  I'm not quite there yet.  One of my favorite sayings now, in Saudi, is "Why like this?"  It summarizes my daily frustration.  Poor English, and a utter confusion regarding why things are the way they are. The answer is "Because, like this."  Alhamdulilah.  (Praise be to God)  You also say the same thing if someone sneezes.  Well, not the "Why like This?" but the second part.  Anyways, back to the point, we were standing there waiting to get into lounge, and look left to see what's inside, when we get cut off by a Antonio Bandaras knockoff, with a snippy attitude, and a stupid accent.  (Not Bad-ass Bandaras like at all). So I look back at my friend and say "Why like this?"  Apparently his pony tail wasn't so tight that he couldn't hear me.  So he turns around, and says "because you weren't moving."  Oh, ok.  I guess the 5 second rule doesn't exist on plant hair product.

Pretty much, bro

Anyways, we got there a minute later, after an awkward staredown, and proceeded to the bar.  We walk in, and Antonio, and his girlfriend are sitting there across from each other completely enveloped in their phones, and didn't acknowledge each other the entire time I was trying to shoot lasers at them with my laser vision.  I am starting to realize how annoying that is.  Cell phones and reception isn't very good in KSA, and with that, people spend more time talking, and eating, and conversating.  It's a good thing.  I've gotten much better and maintaining a conversation with people, and that's a skill that is great, as long as you got a good story to tell.  Well, I guess I gotta work on that.  Stop staring at your cell phones.  There is nothing that exciting on Facebook, that can't wait until you at least ask your friend how's it going, how was the flight, how I snuck a fart out during landing, etc...  Long story short, I was excited, and no amount of cutting in line would put me in a bad mood.  I hope that guys skinny jeans give him a low sperm count, and trips him up as a Walrus decides to have his way with him.  Too far maybe.  Eff rude people.

Yes, it is exactly what you think it is.  Rude people deserve this.  

We reach Thailand, it was warm, but not too hot, maybe 30C, and after walking around in circles to find a visa entry form, we arrive in Thailand.  We Taxi into the city, and it's actually kinda boring at the airport, regular highways, billboards, nothing that exciting.  And then you get into the city, and it transforms.  People walking EVERYWHERE, people on motorcycles weaving through traffic, Tuk-Tuk's parked on the side trying to get us tourists to get around, bright colors everywhere, the smell of hot soup, fresh salad, and grilled meat permeate the air.  It's like nothing I've ever seen.

Most folks from Thailand are Buddhists (95% according to wikipedia) and there are temples, and shrines everywhere.  People put food up as offerings, and it's polite to make the gesture, everytime you walk by one.  

No matter where you are:

I'm lovin it!

So what is there to say?  We tried to live the hangover 2 experience.  Drank cheap drinks.  Chang's soda water is for whatever reason miles and miles above any other type of soda water, and when mixed with Johney Walker Black, is an elixer for the soul.  It doesn't even make you hung over.  (Maybe)  Can't remember, because we went right back to eating and drinking when we woke up.  We did a tour of China town, and realized that everything in Chinatown is apparently for virility.  Or so they say.  I wouldn't know, I don't really have a problem with that.  I'm not even 30 yet.  OK, TMI.  But, it's not a reason not to have some ginger tea, and egg drop soup!  Bird spit never tasted so good.  I think our waitress was offended, when I ended the meal, by cracking a beer.  Haha, good times.

I bought a wooden motorcycle for 10 bucks too.  It's neat!

   We drank, we partied, we conquered  and for the most part could point out the ladyboys.  I was 4/5, but guessed that a lady was a dude, when she wasn't (eek, sorry).  My compadre was on the other end, thinking it was a woman, when it was a dude.  That means that after all those beers, I get slapped by a woman, and my friend wakes up a very very sad person.  HAHA, Hangover 2.

No tattoos, we met up with a friend who had his own place in Thailand, so we got to meet some locals, one of his friends owns an afterhours patio, with Hookah, more drinks, and awesome Tom Yum soup.  It's for what ails ya, especially when you see the sun coming out.

This is my confident face

We didn't do as many touristy things as we wanted to, just like most of my trips, the first times are full of good intentions, but too much partying.  As a foodie, this place is hands down Shangri La for me.  Spicy, sweet, a hint of coconut, and warm smiles, and plenty of laughter.  I guess I'll just have to go back, and do the touristy stuff the second time.

Summary of the trip in a single picture

Oh, and I couldn't help this one:

*Giggles*